HOME ALONE: IS YOUR PRETEEN READY?

by Tania K. Cowling

One of the realities of today's society is adolescents staying home alone until a parent returns from work. Home Alone took on a whole new meaning after the movies about a youngster who found himself left behind in the family residence without his parents, and yet proved to be resourceful, independent, and even successful in foiling would-be intruders.

This story might be entertaining to watch on the screen, but it hardly represents the reality of today's latchkey kids. Did you know there is nothing new about kids being on their own at home? The phrase latchkey kids actually originated in the early '800's, when kids who were responsible for their own care wore the key to their home tied on a string around their necks. Today, with an increasing number of parents who work, there are more adolescents who are at home after school alone until at least dinnertime.

Here are some thoughts to determine if your preteen is old enough to stay home alone. There is no magic formula to measure an adolescent's readiness to assume self-care. Can your child:

*       Be trusted to go straight home after school?

*       Follow rules and instructions well?

*      Handle unexpected situations without panicking?

*       Stay alone without being afraid?

Obviously, the best scenario is for an adult to provide care and supervision for preteens, while mom and dad are at work--at home or in some kind of after school program. When that's not possible, one solution is to prepare adolescents who will be staying alone with these guidelines.

*       Have your child check in with a parent or neighbor immediately after arriving home.

*       Establish House Rules. Post them where they can be checked daily. Consider including homework expectations, chores, and use of the phone, computer and kitchen appliances.

*       Make sure your child knows how to call 9'', or your area's emergency number, and give directions to your home, in case of emergency. Leave a list of phone numbers for work, relatives, and friends.

*       Make sure your child knows how to escape in case of fire.

*       Warn your child never go into the house or apartment if things don't look right--such as a broken window, ripped screen, or opened door.

*       Warn your child to never accept gifts or rides from people he or she doesn't know well.

*       Discuss transportation plans for all after school activities.

*       Tell your child to never let anyone into your home with asking your permission.

*       It's best to not let people at the door or on the phone know your child is alone. Teach them to say, Mom can't come to the phone (or door) right now. Or better yet, buy a caller ID and tell your preteens to only answer the phone for specific callers and let the answering machine take a message for all others.

*       Explain to your child how to carry a house key in a safe place (inside a pocket or sock). Don't leave it under a doormat or on a ledge outside the house.

*       Show your child how to use the door and window locks, and the alarm system if you have one.

*       Keep a flashlight handy for power outages.

*       Lock away all alcoholic beverages and firearms securely. Definitely off limits.

*       Provide a first aid kit for small cuts and scrapes.

Remember, no matter how mature your preteen acts, she or he is still learning about life. Give adolescents lots of encouragement, support, and treat their mistakes as learning experiences instead of failures. Show them how much you appreciate their helpfulness, self-reliance, and cooperation while you are away. Reward them with your quality time when you can.